1.19.2009

WOW!

I am so overwhelmed by so much love and support from everyone. I have never felt so loved in my life. It has been such a huge comfort to know how many people have fasted and prayed in our behalf. It is truly overwhelming and I just want to thank everyone and let you know how appreciative Bill and I are. We love you!!

I met with the surgeon on Friday to discuss possible options and to talk about the mammogram and the Ultra Sound. We were again given more bad news that we were not expecting. I had high hopes that this had not spread and that surgery and radiation would do the trick. Not so.
He showed me the films of the tests and went step by step through each one. He is a very thorough Doctor and very to the point-which I appreciate. He said that their were tumors in the lymphnodes and that they were malignant. Those were the ones he was worried about. I thought that these lymphnodes were part of the breast and that it could just be removed-Ive learned a lot about the human anatomy. Did you know that lymphnodes cannot be removed? He said that the cancer was on the move and that was not a good sign. He showed me the tumors and in those tumors and around you could see a bunch of tiny white dots-those are the cancer cells that are spreading. He then said that a masectomy and Chemo were unavoidable. I really was not expecting that. Without more tests, its hard to know how far it has spread and what our next step should be. I was able to get in that day for an MRI, a chest X-Ray, and a genetic blood test. This blood test will determine in I carry a gene that causes this type of cancer. If it comes back positive, then I will need to do a double masectomy. So I will be a whole new lady at the end of this. New hair, nice perky boobs and at least 20 pounds lighter. Gotta have a bright side, right?
So, as of this point, we are thinking about moving home to do treatment. We cant do this without our family-and we have so much support at home. Im scared out of mind about going through Chemo. Im scared about my hair falling out, im scared to get sick and im the most scared about throwing up. Im scared to lose my boobs and im scared to have implants. Im sad that my kids have to see me weak and scared. But, I also know that I can beat this. I have such a strong support system and my Husband as my rock. This is going to be hard and long, but I know that there is a light at the end of all this and I will hold on to that through all this.
We had such a fun weekend with all the Lomus and it was just what I needed to keep me distracted and keep me happy and upbeat. We laughed and cried and I was the given the most powerful blessing by my sweet husband. I got to see my neices and nephew and my kids had blast. Thank you Lomus for the best weekend ever!! I have some good pictures that I will post a little later. My mom is on her way here-so I need to get some cleaning done!!
I have an appointment tomorrow to discuss the MRI results and to see what the next steps are. Hopefully they include packing up my house and moving home!!
Love you all!!

8 comments:

Chris and Anney Malone said...

Oh Shelly, you are in my thoughts and prayers constantly. I know what a hard thing this is, faith will get you through. I love you.

Matt Flake said...

Shelly, I can't stop thinking about you. I tried calling, but no one there. I'll try again. Stay strong and positive. You are in my prayers. Love you too.

Jenny said...

I've been checking your blog all day! Thank you for posting! I soooo hope you get to come back here! I was feeling a little helpless thinking of you so far away. Steve and I are here for you guys, along with all of Mesa. :)

The Dunford Family said...

Shelly, since I heard the news all I've wanted to do was give you a BIG HUG! Please know that you're in my thoughts and prayers always! I hope you get to come home as soon as possible. I'm so awed at your strength... You Rock! I Love You!
Here whenever, for whatever! Kristin

Ned and Erin + kids said...

Shelly I just wanted to let you know that we are also praying for you. I hope all goes well.

Ned and Erin + kids said...

I just had to add that I totally remember the candy train. We use to hope that we got one every year. They always had good candy on them and not the little cheap stuff. You need to move close to me so you can carry on that tradition.

Nancy said...

Shelly- I was sad to hear about your results coming back not so happy. However I was happy to hear that you are moving back home.That way we can do more lunches and stuff. Please know that I am hear to help in any way. I mean it when I say I would take all 5 of your kids at any time. Love ya

Lana and Terry said...

Shelly, We have had you in our prayers daily since we heard the news. Rachel's computer is down but she said she had talked to you. I'm sure it would be a good thing to be close to family and friends through this trial. You have such a good attitude and I know you can beat this. Tell your parents we love them and we love you and your sweet family. Hey we are family since our families grew up together!!