New Blog

Alrighty...I have created a new blog. I wanted to keep this blog for what it was intended for-my kids and family. My new blog will be my breast cancer journal. The address is www.shellylomu.blogspot.com

So, tomorrow is the big PET scan and we are all a bit nervous. I know that I should just have faith that it hasnt spread anywhere else, but to be honest, im way scared. I think its a mix of a lot of things. I know that from this point on everything is going to change. I have been so busy with moving and the kids that I really havent had a lot of time to let in sink in. I think its finally starting to. When I think of the road ahead, I start to freak out, so I just shut it out and find something to keep me occupied. So far it has worked, but I think its time to find a new technique. The scan is in the morning and then I have an appointment with my oncologist in the afternoon to talk about the results and to figure out the next steps. So tomorrow will be a crazy day but hopefully we will have more information as to what im supposed to be doing. Its time to get this thing started and kick this cancers trash!!
Its almost 7-and you know what that means...AMERICAN IDOL!!! So ive got to get going, but I just wanted to send a shout to Tusi (DEUCE as he is known on the field) and wish him and the Cardinals good luck this weekend!!! He texted Bill yesterday and told him he got interviewed by Ross the intern (from Jay Leno) and it will be airing this Friday night-so set your Tivo's and dont forget to watch-apparantly its pretty funny!! GO CARDS!!!

Our ship has landed!

We are finally here!! It has been the craziest week of my life. Bill decided he really wanted to be with me on my first appointment with the new oncologist, so we started packing the house Thursday night and had the truck loaded on Saturday afternoon. We cleaned up and tried to cram in the last random items and hit the road Sunday morning. It was so fast and so crazy and we couldnt have done it without all the help we received. My mom and my mother in law were both there and my two brother in laws and their wives and all the guys from the ward that sacraficed their Saturday to load the truck-it was amazing that it all worked out. The relief society had meals brought in all week. We had so much food-I think we all gained like 10 pounds! I am so amazed at the help and the love and support from everyone in our ward. Im sorry to anyone who emailed or text me or called me-I seriously didnt have 2 seconds to put together-not even a picture. Once we get all moved in and settled, I promise I will respond! It is so great to be home, but we sure do miss our Utah family- alot!!

So today was the first appointment with the oncologist. It didnt start out to great considering we sat in the waiting room for like 45 minutes only to find out that the stupid Utah doctors office didnt send over my records and they had been trying to get them all day. I even went there before I left and signed all the paperwork and told them what day and time my appointment was and to make sure they were there. I was so mad. Bill called and ripped them to peices and wouldnt you know it, by the end of our appointment they came. But I will just say that I LOVE this doctor. He is so thorough and knowlegable and kind and funny-all the things you would want in a doctor when going through something like this. He asked me a bunch of questions and did an exam-a very thorough exam I must say. He was able to glance at the records that did come through just enough to know that he wants to do a few more tests. It was after 5, so tomorrow he will call and make an appointment for me to do a PET scan-this is a full body scan, its a bit more in depth than a bone scan. And in the morning I will go do some more blood work. I still havent heard about the bone scan or the genetic test-hopefully we will know more the next time we meet with the doctor-which will be the day after the PET scan. He said that I will start Chemo first and then do surgery-so I will start that probably next week. Its scary to even think about it so im just going to take it one day at a time-I will worry about things as they come.

Im trying to decide if I want to do a separate blog for me and keep this one for the fun stuff that we still go through as a family. I dont have my computer so im not quite sure how to upload pictures to this computer and not make them permanant. So many things I want to do, so little time. Hopefully things will slow down a bit and I will have some time for all the things I enjoy. Wishful thinking, right? The kids start school tomorrow and they are excited and nervous. Tyson gets to go to all day kindergarten-he is beyond excited. Im a little sad to not have my ty-bo at home in the morning, but I know this will be so good for him. This school starts at 7:53-a bit earlier than our previous 9:15. Im not so good with the mornings. Looks like I better start getting to bed a little earlier!! Goodnight!

Its official!!

So, just a quick update. We are moving back home!! Its not necessarily under the best circumstances, but hey..IM GOING HOME!!
Our plans are to be home by Wednesday. Its going to be crazy trying to get packed so fast, but we have motivation.
I have my bone scan today at 4 and hopefully it will be clean. I think this will be my last test here. We are still awaiting the genetic test, but that takes a week and the least. I hope to have all the results back by the time we leave so I can make a clean break.
I just want to thank everyone again for all the kind words and the love and support. It has truely been amazing. Its been a dark time, but there has also been so much light and I am so grateful!!
I will try and update as much as I can. Thanks again!!

Decisions. decisions

I just got back from the doctor with more questions and more decisions to be made. The results of my chest x-ray came back clear-which is great news. My MRI showed more tumors in the breast which completly rules out saving the breast. No chance at all. I figured as much and actually I prefer it so I dont have to always wonder if it will come back. I still havent recieved the results for the genetic testing, so that may change it from a single to double masectomy. I also get a full body bone scan on Thursday to see if it has spread to my bones. Im hopeful that it hasnt and that it is contained to the lymph nodes only.
So now our options are this...we can take all our records and go home and find our own doctors and do it all there (which is my first choice), or we can do the surgery here, with the doctors that we have already seen, and then go home for Chemo and radiation. If I stay here for the surgery, then we are looking at the middle of march for going home. I guess either way, we are pulling the kids out of school at a bad time, so that isnt really a consideration anymore. I really just dont even want to make any of these decisions. Just make it go away!!!
So...lots of things to think about. but im leaning more towards home, and soon. If anyone knows of any doctors that we might be able to go to, please, please let me know. We are really just starting from square one down in AZ, so any help or information would be greatly appreciated.

WOW!

I am so overwhelmed by so much love and support from everyone. I have never felt so loved in my life. It has been such a huge comfort to know how many people have fasted and prayed in our behalf. It is truly overwhelming and I just want to thank everyone and let you know how appreciative Bill and I are. We love you!!

I met with the surgeon on Friday to discuss possible options and to talk about the mammogram and the Ultra Sound. We were again given more bad news that we were not expecting. I had high hopes that this had not spread and that surgery and radiation would do the trick. Not so.
He showed me the films of the tests and went step by step through each one. He is a very thorough Doctor and very to the point-which I appreciate. He said that their were tumors in the lymphnodes and that they were malignant. Those were the ones he was worried about. I thought that these lymphnodes were part of the breast and that it could just be removed-Ive learned a lot about the human anatomy. Did you know that lymphnodes cannot be removed? He said that the cancer was on the move and that was not a good sign. He showed me the tumors and in those tumors and around you could see a bunch of tiny white dots-those are the cancer cells that are spreading. He then said that a masectomy and Chemo were unavoidable. I really was not expecting that. Without more tests, its hard to know how far it has spread and what our next step should be. I was able to get in that day for an MRI, a chest X-Ray, and a genetic blood test. This blood test will determine in I carry a gene that causes this type of cancer. If it comes back positive, then I will need to do a double masectomy. So I will be a whole new lady at the end of this. New hair, nice perky boobs and at least 20 pounds lighter. Gotta have a bright side, right?
So, as of this point, we are thinking about moving home to do treatment. We cant do this without our family-and we have so much support at home. Im scared out of mind about going through Chemo. Im scared about my hair falling out, im scared to get sick and im the most scared about throwing up. Im scared to lose my boobs and im scared to have implants. Im sad that my kids have to see me weak and scared. But, I also know that I can beat this. I have such a strong support system and my Husband as my rock. This is going to be hard and long, but I know that there is a light at the end of all this and I will hold on to that through all this.
We had such a fun weekend with all the Lomus and it was just what I needed to keep me distracted and keep me happy and upbeat. We laughed and cried and I was the given the most powerful blessing by my sweet husband. I got to see my neices and nephew and my kids had blast. Thank you Lomus for the best weekend ever!! I have some good pictures that I will post a little later. My mom is on her way here-so I need to get some cleaning done!!
I have an appointment tomorrow to discuss the MRI results and to see what the next steps are. Hopefully they include packing up my house and moving home!!
Love you all!!

Today I received news that I have stage 3 Breast Cancer. To say this was a shock is kind of an understatement. I think I am still in somewhat of a shock so if this is all over the place that is why. I really just felt that I needed to write down my feelings and all that so I can look back on this when its all over and laugh at how scared I was.
About a year ago, I felt a hard lump in my left breast. I had just finished nursing Avery, so I just figured it was a clogged duct or something. A few months later I felt the same thing in my right breast, so I knew it was just from nursing. A few months after that, the one in my right breast disappeared so I really didnt think much of it. The one in my left breast stayed and kept getting bigger and harder. About a month ago, I noticed it was quite big..like a golf ball-maybe bigger and it felt like it had little bumps all over it. I dont have health insurance, so I kinda put it off (which by the way is so stupid and no one should EVER do) While we were in Arizona for Christmas, one of my long time friends mom died of Breast Cancer. After hearing a little about her story and what she went through, I just kept thinking about it and getting more worried. So I told Bill that I was worried about it and I went into the Doctor the next day. They sent me to do a mamogram and an ultra sound the following week. Waiting for that appointment was torture. I just wanted to know what it was. I think Bill was taking it harder than me. So finally Tuesday came and I went in not really knowing what to expect. This place wasnt for young people like me. Breast Cancer does not even run anywhere in my family. I think I was the youngest one in that room by like 30 years. Although I do have saggy boobs, so we had that in common. (Yikes-thank you 5 breastfed kids!!) The poor lady that gave me the mammogram was like 2 feet smaller than me and had to use both hands just to get me situated. For any one who has had one of those-holy crap-it was uncomfortable. They flatten you just like a pancake. I could see the screen from where I was standing and I could noticably see something on the screen. She took quite a bit more pictures of the left breast in all different angles. I started to think that something was up, but I was still hoping that it was a cyst or something and that I was worring for nothing. They sent me back to the waiting room to wait for the ultra sound. Bill and I were texting eachother the whole time and the poor guy was going to have a heart attack. They wouldnt let him back because there were so many woman and boobs. I really hated having to do it myself, but I felt that Bill was there because he was telling me not to worry and that it was going to be ok. He kept my mind off of things by giving me Office trivia-what a guy!! During the Ultrasound, the tech was going over spots and stopping and taking pictures and measuring just like a baby ultrasound. She left and got the Doctor and he came in, sat down and made himself comfortable-using my right breast as a nice arm rest while he did the ultrasound on my left one. I never did ask what they were, I think I knew it wasnt good. He asked if he could do a biopsy right there. I asked him if Bill could come back and he agreed. Bill is nice to have around because he asks all the questions that I dont think of. I really just needed his support. So he came in and immediatly asked the Doctor what it was. The Doctor told him that I had several tumors, one of them in my lymphnode. Bill was blunt and asked if it was bad and the doctor was just as blunt and said "its not good."
Waiting is the hardest part. Trying to be positive but still wondering. If I didnt have such a strong support system here, I think I would have gone crazy. My mother in law had made plans a while back to come visit during January-she is crazy and she likes the snow and the cold. It just happend that she was coming on the same day as my appointment. She and my sister in law Andrea watched our kids. I was so glad to have her here for this waiting period. She is so calming and it was really good for Bill to have his mom here. I wish I had my mom here too. I think it was worse for my parents not being able to be here-just waiting for news. We were able to stay busy for the 2 days of waiting by going to lunch, I got my hair done, we had family dinner and just hung out. Today we all fasted and tried to stay busy but I had my phone in my hand the whole day just waiting for it to ring, but not really wanting in to. I finally had had enough and called. The nurse said she had the results back but she was waiting for the radioligist to read them and then they would give me a call. I ran to the grocceri store with my sis in law and Mom in law to get some things for dinner-I thought I had about an hour. I was in the hair gel isle when my phone rang. The nurse asked if I would talk to the doctor. When he got on the phone he told me that he was sorry to have to tell me that it was in fact cancer. I really didnt think they were going to tell me over the phone. And to be honest, I really wasnt expecting it to be cancer. Not at all. I had been fasting all day and I literally almost fainted. He kept talking but I really didnt hear much after that. I just wanted to find the others and get out of there. Bill kept calling me, but I couldnt answer. I didnt want to tell him over the phone. Just as we pulled in, the bus was dropping the kids off, so Andrea took them back to her house so Bill and I could talk. Bill called the doctor back to ask some questions since I had no idea what he had said, and I called my parents. My dad has a way of calming me with his words of wisdom and I was so thankful for the things he told me because I really needed to be calmed. The radiologist said that it doesnt look like it has spread anywhere past the lymphnode, but until they do an MRI they wont know. So we praying that it hasnt spread. I have an appointment tomorrow with the surgeon to see what our next step is. Bill has been a rock to me during this time. Bill has some health anxiety and I was really worried what this might do to him, but he has been so great to me and has picked me up when I felt like crawling in bed and pulling the covers over my head. I love you babe!!
I just wanted to tell everyone how grateful I am-we are- for everyones overwhelming support. My parents have told me how many people have called them and given their support and how many people fasted today in our behalf. People I dont even know, but know my parents and love them. It has been such an amazing experience. I have felt comfort and love and I know its because of all the prayers. Its the scariest time of my life, but its also the most amazing. I have never in my life experienced anything like it-and for that, I am truely grateful. Its all so overwhelming. We told the kids and they are taking it pretty good. Im not sure that they really understand, but it makes me feel better to know that they arent worried. My mom is going to come up next week and stay for a while to help out with the kids during the surgery (and we all know that sometimes you just need your mommy), my sister is coming, as well as my brother and his wife. Just a few hours ago, Bills whole family called and said they are packing up the cars and coming tomorrow. Just like that. And anyone who knows the Lomus knows that they are not spur of the moment kind of people. I feel so loved and so blessed to have family that is willing to drop everything to come and give me the support that I need right now. How could anyone with this much love not have a positive attitude?? I really feel comfort from my Father in Heaven and I know that I will be alright. He is blessing me and my family more than we deserve.
I know that this is a novel, but im glad I was able to write it all down so I will remember how I felt. I still have a life and kids and lots of happy things to keep me grounded, so dont expect any doom and gloom here. I have a weird sense of humor.
Thanks again and Love to you all!!!

It has taken me a while to gather up the motivation to get caught up on all the December happenings. I have been going through one of those "im so done with blogging" phases, and I just kind of stayed away for a bit-and im not gonna lie-it was quite nice. It was nice not worrying about what everyone was up to (besides the ones I REALLY care about). I actually did other things besides surf blogs-it was great!! But, now im soooo far behind that I feel overwhelmed and this has been such a task-but, im done and it feels great. Im ready for a new year. Im not one to make New Years resolutions, but this is the year I lose the baby weight. Im officially done, no more babies in this household-thus no more excuses to not get in shape. This is the year!!!
So anyway, enough of that. Here is what we have been up to this past month.

Caleb had a special visitor in his speech class. Santa couldnt make it as promised because he was so busy, but he didnt want us to be forgotten, so he sent his lovely wife. Suprisingly, it was a hit!!


Caleb has the funny nervous habit where he either sticks his hands down his pants or he lifts his shirt up. Im glad he chose the later.

The kids had a Christmas concert at school. They were nice enough to let the parents know when each grade would sing so they could come at the desired time and not have to sit through all the grades.

It went something like this. P, K, 3, 4, 5, 1, 6, 2.

We have a K, 4, and 2. We had to sit through the whole thing. When we walked out, there was a massive blizzard in the works. We drove half way home and realized that we should probably go back and pick up the kids so they dont get stuck at the school (a similar thing happend last year and the kids were stuck at school all night)We drove back and ended up with our 3 plus4 more from the neighborhood. It was crazy and it took us about 30 minutes to get home. Im glad we picked them up because busses and cars were stuck all over the place. Gotta love Utah!

All the second graders got the wear their PJ's to school for the last day. Lani was so excited and tried to talk me into getting her some new pjs for the occasion-but to no avail.

I really did comb Noahs hair that morning, but having to wear beanies to school kindof defeats the purpose.

Noahs class sang a cute song with lots of choreography. I was pretty proud of him for actually singing because he usually doesnt.

Tysons class wore white shirts and jeans with santa hats and scarfs. Not one note was sent home informing me of this, so I consider myself pretty lucky that he wore a white undershirt under his sweater, and that he wore jeans, and that Bill just bought him a santa hat from the dollar store the day before, and that he wore a scarf-which he never does. It was a Christmas miracle.

And didnt he look so cute??

After much thought, we decided to go home for Christmas. We havent been home since February, and we really needed to go home. Ok, so I really needed to go home. We were supposed to leave on Monday the 22nd, but after looking at the weather, we decided we needed to leave Sundday night. We had had a Christmas party planned with our family here, so we hurridly packed up our stuff and loaded the car, all while cooking a turkey, and stuffing and making a dessert and trying to clean the house as best I could-It was pure chaos. After our fun party, we headed out-it was 8:30. We decided to stop half way and stay in a hotel. Bill being the macho man he is kept going and we rolled into my parents driveway at 6am. It only took us 9 1/2 hours. Its amazing how fast you can drive when you dont have to stop every hour for potty breaks. We were so lucky we left when we did because the next day brought snow, snow and more snow. My sister in law Andrea called just to let me know that they were snowed in and the kids were sleding down the street-thats how bad it was. I love AZ!!

A family tradition of mine has been to make candy trains for out friends. I loved making them for all my friends and taking them to their houses-they were always a hit. I have missed doing this since we have lived away-so I was so excited to hear that we were going to do it this year. So were the kids!!!

Avery especially!! I think she ate more than she made!

Tysons just had to be perfect-he gets that from his Grandad!! Such concentration.

The finished product!!

Noah, the ever creative architect.

Lani was proud of herself a few days later for eating half of it in one day. Oh lani lou loves to eat!!

The next day was Calebs birthday. Since we already celebrated in Utah, we just had cake and opened a few presents. It was also Tylers birthday a few days after Christmas, so we just combined the 2. Caleb got a spider man costume which was quickly taken over by Tyson.

All the Grandkids (minus the malone boys and sweet mady) Its rare they are all looking at the camera at the same time!!

During the week we all got together and Barb and Blakes house for some yummy In-n-Out and guitar hero. Barb and Mary kicked some boo-tay!!

Noah and Lani took a turn-not so hot!!

I wanted to get some cute pictures of the Arizona kiddies that we never see so my kids will know their cousins when they see them.

Maile

Kate

Drew boy (bubba)

Sophie

Somehow we added an extra little person that looked just like Noah-crazy huh!!

Most of the Lomu(Moody, Taylor) grandkids (minus Daves 6 kids, Scotts 3 and Bens 2)

Ben and Michelle came down for a few days, so we all met up at Main St. The kids love main street-they love all the sculptors and the huge cookies at the bakery (which sadly was closed boo-hoo)

We ate lunch at this new little pizza place. It was good, but a little pricey.

We had such a fun trip with our families. We LOVED the weather and took full advantage of being outside. We had planned on staying until New Years Day, but this little monkey got super sick and we had to take her to the hospital for an IV because she wouldnt eat or drink and when she would she would either puke it up or poop it out. She was dehydrated, had a small bladder infection and brochitis. She was so sick-poor thing. We left the day before New Years Eve to get her home. We hadnt gotten passed Anthem before she threw up ALL over me and pooped all over her clothes. Fortunatly I foresaw this and put an extra set of clothes in the front-unfortunatly I didnt do the same for myself. I stunk like puke the whole way home.

She really enjoyed the rain!!

We cant wait to go home again-hopefully for good!!!

CHRISTMAS EVE

Christmas Eve is always a little hectic. We are usually running from my family to Bills. This year I thought it wouldnt be that way-but I was wrong. Again the times conflicted and back and forth we went.

My family party kicked off the night with the yummiest chicken pie that my Aunt Sandy makes every year-they are to die for.

I really didnt get too many good shots-sorry about this one Trent, or should I say Bishop Malone. Hows that for a Christmas present!!

My family party is always full of food, laughter, tears and more food. I dont get to see my Aunt or my cousins very often and I always look foward to this night. I just wish I had more time with them. All my little cousins arent so little anymore-they are married, one is in the Marines, and the little ones are in high school-its crazy. Im old. This year, I missed out on the talent show and the grateful circle. The grateful circle is something we have done since my grandparents were still alive. We light candles and go around the room saying what we are thankful for-it always ends up in tears. I really missed it this year.

We then headed over the Lomus.
The kids make gingerbread cookies

Ok, so some made them and others ate them.

This little cutie was running all over the place. She is the most smiley baby. My kids couldnt get enough of her.

We had a fun white elephant gift exchange all done by my mother in law. It was awesome!!

Then, Ana did a cute little nativity play and included all the kids. They loved it.

Avery even got in on the fun!

Avery loves dogs..from a far. When we came for Thanksgiving, she was terrified of Harry-this time, she couldnt get enough the dog.

Mary and Drew sang us some Christmas songs-ok so Drew sang us some songs. This kid just turned 2 and he can sing and hes got rythem. Kate got in on the action too!!

After that, we went back to my parents house for a scavanger hunt to find the Christmas jammies.

Then it was off to dreamland. They all fell asleep so fast, I was amazed.

Dreaming of Santa-well the ones that still believe were anyway!!

CHRISTMAS 2008

Another Christmas come and gone, way too fast for me. I feel like I didnt really get to enjoy all there is to do during Christmas time. It was hurried, it was cold and the next thing I knew, we were on our way to AZ. It was fun because my sister was also in town and we both stayed at my parents house. So we all got to be together on Christmas morning. That was fun!!

The kids so patiently waiting-playing with their stockings.

Avery opened the first gift since she was the youngest, and she got her baby. That was all she needed!!

Ty got a guitar and hasnt put it down since!!

Noah really didnt want much this year except some night vision goggles. Those things are pretty rad.

Caleb and guns just go together. (fake ones of course)

Tyson got a guitar lesson from Grandad and is now a pro. Everyone gathered to hear it

I thought this was so funny-all the girls got DS's and apparantly you can instant message on them-so that is what they did all morning-even though they were this close to each other.

And wouldnt you know it, my battery to my camera died and right before they started opening presents, my video camera said "out of tape." Yes, my stoneage camera still takes tapes and no one had one to spare. So this Christmas will have to be one of memory. Good memorys that is!!

After we opened presents, we ate breakfast and headed over to the Lomus. We lounged, ate some more and even broke out the guitar hero-so fun. After that, we headed back to my parents house for naps and more eating and we played games. Christmas night was pretty low key, we just relaxed and vegged. Perfect ending!!